moonymango:

magicmumu:

matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:

jumpingjacktrash:

citizen-zero:

tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.

“sir or ma’am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”

“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”

“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”

“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”

the walls start weeping blood. our hero gives a long-suffering sigh, walks away, comes back with a wheelie mop bucket and biohazard gloves. hey, it’s better than bathrooms on the overnight shift, at least blood’s not smelly when it’s fresh.

After facing Karen of the Many Coupons and Screaming Children, Asgortoh the Reaper of the Damned is no contest.

at least it pays more than minimum wage

Vampire, stuck outside the window:
L̴̠̍̚e̶͇̠̳͆͝t̶͎̺̥̔̇͠ ̴͚̈́̒m̷̧͂̒͘ė̷͍̲̊ ̵̞̥͍̀ḭ̷̪̎ņ̷̖̲̈́̾͝s̶͖̜̒̄̏i̷̥̾̅d̸͉̅̔e̶̥̲̓̿

Hero:
My apologies, but as I explained, the restaurant was closed 28 minutes ago. Come back tomorrow.

shock:

fantastic beasts not only has shit CGI, johnny depp, now they’re trying to sell me on nagini the giant snake becoming a sexy human woman and seducing credence (ezra miller with a bowl cut) like trying to convince me credence and nagini fucked and made snape or some shit this is all too much for me i just want to see newt scamander run around like he’s on doctor who LMFAO 

a-fuck-it-kind-of-lifestyle:

all these new teen rom com movies with the kind and soft male love interest??? amazing. they’re finally showing what people actually want in a love interest in real life- someone kind, someone genuine. we don’t need some suave asshole motherfucker who pretends he’s above it all and he’ll take you along i guess. we just want kind and soft and caring and genuine. that is not too much to fucking ask. these boys have flaws, they’ve got issues. but boy, they care about their crushes and that??? is all that we want.