What are your superpowers again? I’m rich.
Tag: bruce wayne
wakeupontheprongssideofthebed:
You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.
You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?
You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”
He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”
This one wins.
It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.
Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”
You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.
The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.
Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”
You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.
That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.
IT GOT BETTER
batman: killing villains would just make me one of the villains too!
aquaman: *walking past, his trident red with the blood of his enemies* say that to my face bitch
jason every time bruce makes him mad (meaning he says this at least 8 times every time bruce talks to him: if AQUAMAN were my dad–
bruce: killing the joker would make me as bad as him, jason!
arthur, upon hearing jackson got a little nicked fighting some random goons: hold my trident, i’m strangling them with my bare hands,
Jason: someone tripped me in the hall at school and then called me mean names
Bruce: that builds character jason
Jackson: someone sneezed in my direction today,
Arthur: they WHAT *picks up trident, starts putting on armor*
“Now, if you’re going to continue down this vigilante path, Master Bruce, you’ve got to learn how to assume… other roles.”
Gotham is treating us so right, we don’t deserve it
Perfection.
Members of the Justice League (x).
I’ve seen it, Mr. Wayne. [Batman] thinks he’s above the law.