i don’t like fantasy books where someone is like ‘but i don’t want to be king!’ and their gandalf-figure says ‘ahhh… but that makes you Super Qualified’ listen putting people in positions of leadership simply because their heart is pure is no way to run an empire!!! i would rather stick with someone who was kind of evil but knew how to run the national health service, not Michael the Virtuous who is really aces at slaying dragons but a bit rubbish when it comes to international trading partners, thankyouverymuch.
Havelock Vetinari approves this message.
So does Carrot, let’s be honest.
Tag: terry pratchett
She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.
from Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
This is one of the funniest, constantly-misused quotes I see around on the internet, as most people I see sharing it seem to think it’s either from a romance or about, at the closest to the truth, a femme fatale, while actually it’s something the men in the room think about War herself, who’s traveling around the world creating wars until the Apocalypse shows up, and they all realize at once that while they’re attracted to her, they’re mostly terrified by her, and it’s both hilarious because she’s a Horseman of the Apocalypse and this great metaphor for war and how men and war correspondents are thrilled by war when it’s at a distance but never up close, and I’m so into it.
What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal (via wendynerdwrites)
Witches When Faced with an Antagonist
New Witch: I’ll do a spell to make them go away. First I need twelve candles, three kinds of crystals, five different herbs, and when’s the next full moon?
Intermediate Witch: Eh, how’s one candle and a mushroom I found in my pocket for a curse? It goes “I hate you please die.”
Experienced Witch: Probably faster just to tell them to fuck off.
magrat
nanny ogg
granny weatherwax
This might be the best response I’ve seen to this post yet.
100% true response is true.
Words in the heart cannot be taken
from Terry Pratchett’s Feet of Clay.
Find here other Pratchett-inspired works:
You said: The Shining Ones. You said: The Fair Folk. And you spat, and touched iron. But generations later, you forgot about the spitting and the iron, and you forgot why you used those names for them, and you remembered only that they were beautiful
Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett (via thehistorymonks)
ofdreamsanddragons 